Hold Me Without Touch
by aikawriter
Summary: Pogue is trying to take a drunk Caleb home. But Caleb doesn't seem interested in helping. And Pogue has no idea what he's gotten himself into. PoguexCaleb. Slash. Post!Movie. Rated M for possible continuation.
1. Drunk

**"** Cay, come on... You're drunk. Just give me your keys. **"**

Pogue sighed as Caleb didn't move and rolled eyes. Deciding to take matters into his own hands. He'd been trying to get home for a good fifteen minutes now. While Caleb convinced him again and again, to have 'just one more' beer. He could hear his friend's soft chuckles as he started to push his hands into his pockets - _so many goddamn pockets_ _-_ and ignored them, even when they became more giggles than anything else. _Cute fucker._

It was so rare for this to happen.

Sure, Caleb's tolerance was shit. But even so, being the responsible old man he had been since they were born, he usually made a point to drink only what his limit allowed. Pogue wasn't sure what this was about, now. Caleb only drank like that when something was up. But he figured that trying to ask anything then, would be both a shitty move, and a useless one. He didn't trust his friend even to hold on to him on the bike (hence his search for the other's car keys), much less to have any sort of meaningful conversation.

Pogue was pushing himself back to his feet, from his leaning position, as soon as his fingers closed around the keys. "Come on, Caleb, get up, man. Time to go." He actually felt the will to face-palm, when his friend only looked at him. With glazed over eyes, and blinked once. Not seeming to understand a thing he'd said. _Of course._ "I swear to God, if I didn't know you'd give me shit tomorrow, I'd dump your ass here." he mumbled. half-heartedly, as he went to grab his waist instead, and pull him up enough so he could support him to his feet. He was just working it out, when Caleb took advantage of his closeness, to close both _his_ arms around Pogue's neck. And then they were both falling back on the couch.

 _Fuck._

"Shit. Caleb-"

He heard Caleb laugh again, in that way he only did when he was truly unworried, while he groaned and took a hand to his nose. Trying to feel if it was whole, after the way he'd hit it on their way down.

"Shhhhhhh..." his friend seemed to hush himself.

Pogue blinked the involuntary tears out of his eyes, and sniffled. Before pushing his hair back so he could actually see the other, even as he felt himself being pulled closer. _Caleb, what the hell?_

"S'rry man..."

Pogue's curse died on his lips as he looked up to find Caleb smiling at him, through his slurred words. Perfectly white teeth at shown, and dimples on his face. Well, at least he was talking now.

"It's fine, Cay. Let's just go before we wake those two up again. 'lright?" he looked at him, but Caleb seemed to have gotten distracted in the second it took him to answer. He was about to pull him up, and even _use it_ to do it, if he had to. When he felt Caleb's strong fingers plunge into his hair. He gasped, and groaned as the other tugged, before licking over his suddenly dry lips. "What the f-"

Caleb tugged again.

This time, _down_. Where he met Pogue half-way.

Pogue felt as though everything had muted.

It was a harsh, mouthing kiss. No hesitation. No slowly closing eyes. Just an urgency, crude and raw, that was almost painful. He could _feel_ sounds vibrating on his tongue. But he couldn't tell which of the two were making them. And it didn't seem to matter.

Caleb tasted like beer, and also something sweeter, and fresh like his scent. His blunt nails scraped the back of Pogue's nape, harshly, as his fingers clenched on his hair. And his perfect teeth dug into Pogue's lower lip, before his tongue was pushing for space again.

It felt heated and not at the same time. It was blunt and almost plain on it's clear need, of simple - more - pressure. Without seeming to want, nor have, to take that pressure anywhere else. It was so physical, so irrational, that the thought of what was happening didn't even cross his mind while their tongues slid together. The thought of _who it was happening with._ And then it was gone.

Pogue's ears were still on static, when the kiss finally broke, with them gasping harder than after any swimming practice. He could feel the warmth of their breaths, pushing against each other in the small space between their mouths. But he still couldn't hear them. And when Caleb spoke, he missed his first words. His honeyed eyes following the movement of the other's lips, without getting it at first, and then being crashed with sound again, as though the world had just restarted moving.

"...ing glad you're alive."

Caleb's voice sounded so rough. So deep and low like it only did when he was sharing a secret. Something important. Something of _meaning._ Pogue was still catching his breath and all he managed to do was stare. Slightly wide-eyed as it finally clicked in him. _Caleb had just kissed him._ He licked over his lips, and he could taste their kiss on them. And yet, it wasn't what was surprising him the most. Drunk people did stupid things all the time. But drunk people also had a habit of pouring out well kept truths. He shook his head, as he got a minimum of control over his own muscles again.

"Caleb, what you're talking about? I'm fine." He took his friend's face on both hands, and forced him to look into his eyes, and not drift again as he spoke. " _Listen to me._ I've _been_ fine for months now. I'm not going anywhere, man. Not tonight. Not ever." he frowned as Caleb looked at him, and he could see some sort of conflict, so clear in his eyes, "I promise." He added, serious.

For a second, Caleb was all there. Deep, sensible eyes, and that undivided attention he was so good at giving to people. Even when he didn't want to listen. Pogue's thumbs ran over his cheek bones, without the boy even taking notice. And he found himself leaning in, without any significant reason for why he shouldn't. Caleb glanced to his lips, and then the drunken haze was up again, clouding his dark eyes, and Pogue sighed as he knew he'd lost him for the night.

Now that Caleb wasn't _helping,_ he had an easier time getting him up, and then to the car. Pogue figured his friend wouldn't mind him driving them to his house. He was the one that had scolded Pogue for coming over to Tyler's on his bike in the first place. Since the whole thing with Chase, Caleb had grown even more protective when it came to Pogue driving around in any state that wasn't completely lucid, and in any weather that wasn't dry. He stopped on the drive-way, knowing his mom would be sound asleep now, and carried Caleb through the living room and upstairs to his bedroom.

He forced some water on him, and ignored his mumbles as he took off his shoes and shove him into the bed, throwing the covers over him. He planned to sleep on the couch he had by the bed, but mid-through pulling away, he felt the small grip on his wrist, and the whisper on his mind.

 _'Stay.'_

He considered just yanking away, but honestly, he was just too tired to argue anything. So instead, he shouldered his jacket off, dropped it by his toed off shoes, and climbed on the bed besides his softly snoring friend. He was asleep almost instantly, having drank his fair share tonight. And as he drifted away, to the sound of Caleb's soothing breath, he could feel something tingling on his lips, like the ghost of the feeling of the other's lips. And he was gonna be _so fucked tomorrow._

* * *

 **A.N.:** Soo, this is my first ever Covenant fic. It's been long as fuck now, but I hope if someone finds this, that you like it. I might write a second part, but for now, I just wanted to get this scene out of my head.


	2. Alcoholic Amnesia

**"** Dude. This thing _still_ creeps me out. **"**

Caleb turned to him, dark eyebrows pressing, before he realized that Pogue had an arm resting over the leopard figure on his living room. The same one he had been unknowingly staring blankly at for a while now. He almost smiled. _Almost_. Pogue pressed his lips as he watched his friend. And Caleb sighed, looking away.

He had been doing that a lot. Pogue. Watching him as though he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it was prickling his skin, all the way up to his scalp, more and more each day. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then nodded, letting his hand fall.

"Yeah, I know."

"Ever thought of getting rid of it?"

Caleb shrugged. "My mother likes it there."

They both went quiet. Ignoring the obvious truth between them. That Evelyn Danvers wouldn't have the faintest idea anything was missing, even if Caleb _did_ get rid of the damn thing.

When they were little, it used to give Caleb the creeps, when he went down for a glass of water. At that time, Reid, being Reid, would taunt them. Telling them that he saw the thing move, when they were watching tv or playing, in the quiet afternoons. Or say things to Tyler, _I swear it wasn't there. I just looked, and it wasn't there, Ty!_ At five years old (Reid being six, and the others seven), Tyler had been rather impressionable. It wasn't so much, Caleb thought now, _what_ it was, as much as the fact that it had been alive one day. _It was prophetic really._ Like some ominous and morbid allegory of what they could become in the future. Of what his father already was, in a way.

That had been a long time ago, though. Tyler had long since learned to read his friend and to play pranks of his own. Still, even then, Caleb already felt responsible for all of them. For their safety. Their well being. And even behavior. Had he ever not felt it?

Pogue frowned as Caleb seemed to forget that he was in the room. _Again._

His comment of the old leopard was intended as a joke. Something familiar and easy going for them. Some attempt to make Caleb laugh. Or at least smile at him. Or honestly, just _look_ at him. _Look at me._ Like he hadn't done in weeks now. Not really.

Since that night, when they'd all gotten a little drunk on beers, at Tyler's house. And Caleb had gotten _very_ drunk. And kissed him. And pretended not to remember a damn thing on the morning after. Since that night, his friend hadn't _actually_ looked at him. _So stubborn._

If he had, Pogue might have even made an effort to believe his bullshit story. But if Caleb really had no recollection of kissing him- Not that Pogue had asked him like _that._ He had asked him if he remembered anything _weird,_ from the other night. _But wasn't kissing your best childhood friend, weird?_ If Caleb didn't remember any of that, not even a little. Then why would he be avoiding Pogue, like the plague?

Pogue was pretty sure he hadn't fucked anything up before or after their reunion. And yet, Caleb seemed to be breeding little excuses, to get away from him, every day.

It had gotten to a point where Reid was the one to come to him with questions, earlier in the day. _And hadn't that been something._

* * *

Pogue knew that it wasn't that Reid never noticed anything that didn't involve him. He noticed it. He just usually didn't care enough to ask.

Reid believed that people could deal with their every day shit without his meddling. _He did, right?_ And that if they really needed him, they'd ask for his help. _It really wasn't that hard to type a text. And he didn't have any hero complexes, like Caleb._ Sure, Pogue and Caleb had fought before. But as far as the blonde was concerned, they were perfectly capable of finding their way back without needing an intervention.

It really wasn't rocket science. They were just not as good at ignoring and icing each other out as Caleb and _him_ were. Honestly, he didn't even know if this was a fight. This weird thing between the two. And Tyler had just shrugged when he'd asked. _Tyler **was** usually the one to pick up on shit like that._ Nevertheless, three full weeks of weirdness were definitely all that he could take, before getting involved.

It pretty much hit his patience's limit. Or, rather, his curiosity's. And that was definitely meddling territory.

"Hey, Tarzan."

Pogue had rolled eyes at him and ignored the boy. Even as Reid sat down by him on the grass, the older one kept looking foward. _Dick_. Down at the field where their classmates were training for lacrosse.

He'd tried it before, and had even liked it. But swimming had always been where he felt at home. These days he'd been wondering if that was because he rocked at it. Or simply because of the _people_ he was there with.

"What do you want, Reid?"

He'd asked, when it became clear that the younger boy wasn't going anywhere. _Brat_. Reid pursed his lips in that thinking expression he made, before talking again. His tone, however, was softer then. The kind of tone he used when he was genuinely concerned, and it caught Pogue's attention.

"What's up with Prince Charming, these days?"

Pogue shrugged. "I don't know, man." he sighed, running fingers through his hair. "Caleb's just weird, you know? Maybe it's just ascending stuff."

"Weird with you." Reid pointed out. Going on, when he didn't get an answer. "Maybe Sarah's been fighting with him." _It didn't seem like they were fighting. Did it?_

"You'd wish." Pogue snorted.

"I wouldn't." It was his time to shrug.

Pogue glanced at him for a minute, taking his sincere tone in. Then pressed his lips and tossed one of his legs stretched out.

"I would." he admitted, getting the same glance from the blonde, he'd just gave him. " 'least then we'd know what the fuck is going on with him."

They hadn't talked much after that. Just sat side by side, watching the game. Reid was sure as hell that Pogue wasn't telling him everything. But didn't push it.

Pogue and Caleb had always been like that, hadn't they? They'd always had their secrets. Nothing big. Nothing that made neither him nor Tyler to feel left out. _That was, when they weren't doing the secrets thing **about** him and Tyler._ Just a proximity. An understanding, even clearer than the one the four shared among them. Like he did with Tyler. At the end, he'd just said, with a tap on Pogue's shoulder:

"Look. Whatever it is. Between you two? Just get it the fuck solved out, ok? It's throwing off my groove. And call us, if you need help smacking sense into Caleb."

Pogue snorted, at the bitter, fucked up reality that Caleb was the one needing to be reasoned with. _Not that he wasn't a thick headed idiot at times._ But agreed. And after a few more minutes alone, he'd picked up his bike's helmet, and left for the Danvers' house.

* * *

 _'Look at me.'_ Caleb blinked, as he realized he had drifted again. And Pogue repressed the will to shake him, until his teeth rattled.

It was usually _Caleb's job_ to do this.

Pester his brothers to be honest with him. Solve problems. Be the protector. And sure, Pogue had done it too. But it didn't come as naturally to him.

He deliberately stepped into the other's personal space, and saw Caleb's attention really flicker towards him this time. It was as close as he could get to physically shaking him. And he hoped he wouldn't have to come to it. "You really don't remember a thing about the night at Tyler's?" he asked, bluntly, his eyes deep and searching.

He watched the color drain from Caleb's face. It wasn't dramatic. It was almost not there at all. But he knew Caleb enough to be sure of what he'd seen.

"Should I?" Caleb tried to pass his tension off as worry, for Pogue's sudden seriousness. But the other knew there was something more. _'Caleb'._

For the millionth time since then, Pogue was sure that he _did_ remember what happened. That Caleb remembered the way he had kissed him. Like he hadn't seen Pogue in years. With fear and neediness and something else, Pogue wasn't sure what. He had felt it through their Power. And he could feel it now that Caleb was actually looking at him for the first time since then.

He had felt it, when he'd woken up to a shuffling and _very hangover_ Caleb, trying to get dressed and sneak away. _One does not do the walk of shame, without the shame._

"You haven't been drinking, have you?" Now that he was close, he could see how red Caleb's eyes were, how tired he looked. Like he hadn't slept for days. He could also see the surprise at his inquiring. The way the dark eyes widened for a minute, before he answered,

" _No!_ No. I was serious, that morning, 'lrigt? No more drinking. Not like that." he watched the other rub his face. "Just a little trouble sleeping."

Pogue swallowed. He hated to ask, but he enjoyed the relief of the answer. With Caleb's family history, it was hard not to worry about it. Usually he didn't. Because his friend was the first to do it for himself. But lately, with all his weird acting, Pogue had been worried that it might have something to do with that.

"Good." _and since we're being honest here._ "You sure, then? Not even a glimpse of that night? Nothing?"

Caleb's jaw popped.

"No." and Pogue _knew, felt, and saw,_ that he was lying.

He let out a frustrated sound.

"You're _unbelievable._ You know that?" he exclaimed, raising his voice as he rarely did.

Caleb's shoulders tensed even further, but he still didn't move. Didn't speak. And Pogue's frustration was rapidly coiling into something else.

He remembered something Reid had told him once. When he and Caleb had been in the middle of one of their rare fights. _Taunt him._ The blonde'd said then. _Poke him until he explodes. It's what I do._

His fingers flexed as he felt the crave to do just that. To shove Caleb against the wall. Corner him. And not let him out until he did explode. Until he was forced to do _something._ Anything.

"Pogue... I'm sorry."

Pogue scoffed. _Sorry for what?_ "Sorry for that thing you don't remember? Or sorry for having a blackout about it?"

When Caleb just flinched, Pogue was done. He pushed the other back, sending him stumbling, and he could see the fear in his face but he just didn't care right now.

 _Afraid Pogue would push him to talk about what he'd done, just like that morning after-_

"Because I don't fucking know anymore, Caleb. What's the bullshit lie you're pulling today." at Caleb's widened eyes he laughed, humorlessly "...Who you think you're talking to, man?" _or rather not talking._ He shove the older one again, and this time, Caleb's back hit the wall. Pogue kept him there, squeezing his shoulder with all the exasperation he'd gathered through those weeks. He hated it. He hated to use his hands or Power against his brothers. He never did. _But Caleb was just so goddamn stubborn._

"I'm not Tyler, Caleb! You can't just pat my back, smile and send me away. _And I'm not Reid!_ You can't ice me out, and expect it to blow over eventually. I'm your _brother._ You really think I don't know when you're lying? That we all don't?" _'Really, Caleb?'_ "You think Reid and Tyler didn't pick up on your bullshit behavior already?"

When he let go, they were both panting. And his pulse was stammering on his ears.

He pulled away and swallowed as he looked to the side, clenching his fists. He really hated getting physical with them. _That was reserved for jerks like Abbot._ As he looked back, he could see Caleb's lips parting to talk. Those eyes. Those all Caleb eyes, focused on him, really focused on him, for the first time in weeks. And then the boy's mouth snapped shut, and he swallowed Pogue's answer down.

"Hey..."

Sarah's soft call and knock on the door frame, interrupted them.

He retrieved his arm, that had been halfway through grabbing Caleb again, should he try to change subjects. And straightened his posture.

"Am I interrupting something?" the girl asked, a light surprise on her inquisitive tone, that had Pogue threading fingers through his hair.

"Nothing." _and wasn't that the true?_ "Nothing at all." he couldn't even look at his friend, but forced himself to offer Sarah a smile and a nod, as he passed by her. "Good to see you, Sarah. Later, man."

Caleb watched, with a deep frown, as Pogue walked out without as much as a glance back. He could feel his friend's anger seething and echoing around them, even long after he heard the bike growl away. He swallowed around his guilt, and turned his attention to Sarah. Whom had apparently been trying to get him to the couch, so they could have their planned movie evening.

He would have to talk with Pogue later. He just wondered, for how many more days he could tell himself _and Pogue_ that. Before Pogue decided he just didn't want to listen anymore. And Caleb really wouldn't be able to blame him.


	3. Secrets

"I thought you'd be here when you didn't answer your phone."

Pogue's head turned at the gentle tone.

"Mmh."

"Do you mind?"

He pressed his lips, but got to his feet. Pulling one of his legs up, from its hanging position over the cliff, and making the few steps back. Towards the large, flat, rock where Kate was sat. His arm came easily around her as he joined her, and she curled to him in response. Both of them staring ahead at the sea, like he'd been doing before.

"I'll never know how you don't get scared, sitting so close."

Kate smelled good. Oddly enough she smelled a lot like Tyler. Earthly. But she also smelled spicy, like cinnamon. It was comforting and warm. Pogue resisted the urge to close his eyes and press against her. Up until now, she only suspected something was wrong. But if he did that, she'd be sure. It wasn't like there was much he could tell her about what was wrong. Even if he wanted to. If he told her about Caleb, there was no predicting what she'd do. Tell Sarah was high on the list, and Pogue definitely didn't want that. _Imagine what it'd do to Caleb._

He also couldn't talk to her about how close he was to ascending. And that with Caleb's current behavior, _batshit crazy behavior_ , he was starting to wonder if the pain and the charge of Power, were really all he had to worry about.

At least he wouldn't have Chase trying to cut his throat mid-through the whole thing. He stirred. That was another thing he couldn't talk about. Not to Kate. Not to the others. Not to anyone. Tyler would be terrified for him. Reid wouldn't know what to do with himself. Probably threaten to find Chase's boy and torch it again. Which really wasn't what Pogue wanted to hear. And Caleb... Caleb would understand. But Pogue knew deep down, that he couldn't hear it. Not now. _I'm so fucking glad you're alive._ Those were the words his friend had told him, after kissing him. He wasn't naive enough to think that Caleb was anywhere near ready to hear about Chase. Chase had done horrible things to him. He'd seared pain through his every bone and inch of flesh. Cutting through his muscles until his brain was screaming. In ways, Pogue never knew were possible before that night. And which made his own Power push and pull him through the air, in agony.

Kate's lips on his neck, awakened him back to the present. And he turned his amber eyes to her in relief.

He tried to keep them worry-free, as much as he could. She didn't speak though, puling in him for a kiss, instead. Their lips tangled easily, molding and pressing with familiarity. But Pogue's stomach felt heavy, even as their tongues met. He loved Kate. He really did. Even if he'd never said it out loud. That evening, almost two months ago, he'd hunted Chase out with full knowledge of what he was risking. He would have given his life for hers. And he knew he'd make the same choice if he had to do it again. And yet...

His teeth grazed her bottom lip, and he heard her soft sounds, as he brought his free hand to wrap around her hip and coax her closer. She smelled like cinnamon. She tasted like honey. _Caleb smelled like sun-bathed skin_.

Kate yelped and pulled back, with a frown, and panting breath.

" _Ouch, Pogue!"_ She complained, pressing a careful thumb to her upper lip. Where he'd bitten down, when his thoughts made him jump.

"I'm sorry, baby." He hurried to say, eyebrows pressed in alarm.

He leaned close, holding her chin gently, to check the damage. Then sighed when he didn't see any blood. He looked up and then dipped in slowly, eyes seeking permission. She let out a soft breath of her own, and put her hand down, allowing it. So he went all the way and pressed a warm kiss over the reddened bit. She murmured, but he hushed her softly. "Shhh... 's all good." He promised her, as he brushed his lips over hers. "Didn't cut."

"What were you thinking about?" She asked, thick lips almost curled in a pout.

 _He'd always wondered curiously if Caleb's lips were thicker than Kate's. Now he knew they were._

The boy swallowed, as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Nothing. I think-" He glanced away at the landscape, then back at her, a serious gaze. "I think I need to be alone for a little while."

"But I haven't seen you at all in two days!"

"I know..." He held her hands between his and brought them to his lips, skimming them over her knuckles. "I'm sorry. I just need to think for a bit."

At that, Kate nodded. Resigned.

She knew Pogue way too well to know that it was no use to argue. She'd often joke about what a Libra he was, when he'd disappear to process things in his head. Right now, she just felt tired. She missed them. The way they used to be before her illness. And his accident. Sometimes she still couldn't believe. That Pogue had hurried so much to the hospital, to see her, that he'd ended up in a room of it, himself. She gently pushed his soft hair behind his ear, running a thumb over a new small scar he'd gotten on his cheek bone, after the accident. She leaned for a kiss to which he complied, as warm and kind as always. And yet...

 _I love you._

She wished she could say it. But she knew they were both far too hard headed to risk saying it out loud. To risk everything in one move. They'd been together for almost a year now. But for some reason, she still felt like she did on their first date. Like she wasn't sure where this was going, but just wanted to enjoy the ride. She didn't know how further more that could take them.

Still, she didn't say a thing, as they said goodbye. She'd known what she was doing when she'd sought him out on his special place. Pogue came there, to the lighthouse, when needed to think. He'd sit by the edge of the scarp, like the open air didn't scare him at all. Legs hanging over the cliff. And process whatever was clouding his mind. She couldn't blame him for telling her exactly that. Her hand still felt warm from his as she walked away. And sure enough, when she looked at him again, at the tree-line, he had already moved back to the edge. And she could bet that his eyes were closed, as the wind shifted through his hair.

Maybe after he'd come back to earth, they could talk.

Maybe then, she'd know why she'd had that churning feeling, since she'd woken up from her medical coma. That heavy feeling on her stomach that she'd come back for Pogue. But that, maybe, he hadn't come back for her. Not entirely.

* * *

 _"He sent you back?"_

Kate shrugged at her friend's soft question, as she dropped by her side on the diner table. And pushed her bag to join Sarah's on the free seat.

"It was fifty/fifty anyway. I knew what I was doing."

She raised her hand to call the waiter's attention and place her order, Sarah only speaking again when the latter had left.

"I'm sorry, Kate. Can't say that Caleb's been himself, since-"

 _"That's_ not surprising." Kate cut in, flipping her thick hair out of her shoulder. A a small roll of eyes, as she glanced over the menu, with dessert already in mind. _She'd definitely earned it_. "Those four. They're like four pieces of one person. Like some kind of Portuguese man o' war. ...What? My cousin studies those things. But yeah, if Pogue's being somber Pogue, I'm not surprised that Caleb's been weird too."

"Reid doesn't look that impacted."

Kate glanced over her shoulder, to where Sarah was looking. In fact, the blonde boy was sitting on a large table, surrounded by their classmates. And they were all laughing at something he'd just said, or done. Still, as she turned her body to look closer, she could see the small tension line on the way he carried his shoulders. Not all slumped as usual. She shook her head as she turned to back to the other.

"He doesn't _look_ like it. But he is. Trust me." She made a pause, as her order arrived and was settled on the table. And sighed, after thanking the waiter and sipping her drink. "I'd ask him, if I thought he'd actually say anything. They get so weird sometimes, I swear."

"Well... I guess it's normal for them to be a little under the weather, right? I mean, with everything that's happen-"

She paused, and Kate caught it. The brunette's eyebrow cocked up, as she tasted an old bitterness on her mouth. That had nothing to do with her sandwich.

 _"Everything that happened?"_

"Yeah... You know. You. Pogue's accident. Maybe that's what this is all about."

Kate scoffed and shook her head, placing her glass down harder than she needed to.

"Right. Or _maybe_ it's about whatever _else_ damn happened while I was out. _Don't-_ Don't try it. Sarah. I _know_ something happened, alright? I'm not stupid. The doctors said Pogue was dying. That _I"_ her jaw tensed around the words "was dying. They have _no_ idea what brought me to the hospital. Or how I got out of it. And I goddman know that you know something." She spat her words, angrily. But Sarah thought she could hear a vulnerability underneath. A plea.

The blonde resisted the urge to look down. To get away from the other's eyes. Or to tell her friend everything.

"I don't."

Kate shook her head in frustration.

"You know what? I'm not that hungry anymore." She stopped, as she was getting up, and patted on the table once. "You know what I don't get? Pogue, I understand keeping things from me. I've known they've been hiding something from the day I met him. And I get it. It's some stupid guy-friend code, that makes them impossible to talk to, at times. _But you?_ You're supposed to be my friend. You're the one who should be telling me what's going on. Instead. All of you act like I'm some four year old who can't see what you're all doing. And I'm sick of it. When you find my friend? Tell her to give me a call. Until then; I'm gonna bunk with someone who doesn't drive me crazy every time I look at them."

Reid's eyes drained back to blue, as he stared forward for a moment, before pushing away from the wall, around the corner, and continuing his previous way to the bathroom. He needed to make a call. _Or three._

* * *

"...Sarah ...You know I can't do that. It's Pogue's choice to te- Yeah, I know. But you know how this thing works. No. Of course I didn't just tell you because I thought I was dying. How can you say that? Don't you remember what I said the very first time we went out together? ... Look. I have to go. Yeah. Yeah I'll try. _I'll talk to him._ It's all I can promise. 'lright? I'll call you tomorrow. Yeah. Me too. G'night."

Caleb put his phone down and sighed, brushing at his eyes as he took in a deep, tired breath.

"You know I've told you to stop rubbing at your eyes like that."

"Yeah, I know."

Caleb glanced up at Tyler, the reason he'd interrupted Sarah's call, as he stood by the doorway. He bit his tongue lightly. Asking him what he was doing there wasn't a nice way to say hello. _As much as he wanted to._

"You gonna scratch your corneas out."

"I'll be fine, Ty."

"Everything okay?" The young boy asked, nodding towards Caleb's phone, now resting over the kitchen counter.

"Yeah. It's fine. It's Kate." He explained, a light of understanding sparking on the other's blue eyes. "She won't let go. She knows something happened in August. And now..." He shook his head. "Sarah wants to tell her." he added.

"She can't! That's Pogue's decision to make."

"Yeah, I know. Just. It's hard you know?"

Tyler nodded and the older one offered him a light smile.

"You hungry?"

"Sure." Tyler frowned as he watched Caleb start to move around. Caleb was making him sandwiches. Caleb only did that when he was trying to stall or change subjects. And he didn't seem in a hurry to call Pogue. Let him know what was going on.

"Caleb. What you're doing, man?"

Tyler's tone sounded soft, and disappointed at the same time. Caleb froze, and looked at him again. This time, with intent and attention. Trying to figure out what the other really wanted to know. _How much did he **already** know?_

"What you talking about?"

"You know."

The older one paused. Then chuckled. Bitterly. "Reid taught you well." He praised, as Tyler pursed his lips and nodded his head sideways. "But that's not gonna work on me, because I actually don't. So spill it, Ty. What do I know?" He tried again, pretending not to feel his heart stutter. Firming his hands as he cut slices of bread and cheese.

"Well. Pogue, for once."

"It's nothing. We'll figure it out."

"Three weeks it's not nothing, Caleb! God, will you two stop acting like Reid and I are kids?" Caleb put down the knife and his lips parted to talk, as his hands braced him on the counter, instead. But Tyler wasn't done yet. "We know something's up. If you just _tell_ us what it is," He pleaded, leaning over to squeeze Caleb's shoulder, a hurtful expression on his forehead. "We can help."

Tyler resisted the urge to use his new found ability, to shake the ground under them, and see if he could snap his friend out of whatever that was. He could feel Caleb's restlessness under his fingers. His Power prickling his fingertips, like physical anxiety.

 _I can't._ Caleb wished he could tell the truth. It would feel so good to just tell someone, anyone. _It would feel good even to **know** what to tell._

 _'I can't.'_ "Not right now..." Caleb shook his head, lightly, as he searched Tyler's eyes, a request on his own. "It's just something I have to figure out on my own." He pulled back, straightening himself, and tensed. "And it's not because I don't think you can handle it." _it wasn't really._ "It's just that" _I don't think **I** can._ "I'm not ready to tell yet. I know." He nodded, stiffened. "That I fucked up with Pogue. I'll fix that. Just. Give me some time. Can you do that?"

Tyler watched him for a few seconds. And Caleb could feel the way his eyes were scanning him, trying to see beyond the flames, into the core. Caleb's shoulders loosened when the boy nodded.

"Yeah. Sure. I can do that. _We_ can do that."

Caleb smiled, lips curling lightly. And nodded back.

"You still hungry?"

Tyler chuckled. "Yeah, actually. Wanna catch something on the TV?"

"Sure. Go find something decent. Be right there."

His eyes followed as Tyler walked away, rambling about a recent movie he was wanting to watch. The older boy nodded, and smiled again, as the younger one stopped by the door. His gaze fell down when he was alone. Hesitating. He picked up his phone and found Pogue on his texts.

'We need to talk. Tomorrow.'

Tyler was already sleeping on the couch, head hanging back, and lips lightly parted, as the movie credits rolled. When he got the answer.

'Follow you home.'

Caleb took a breath, before gently nudging Tyler awake enough to guide him up to the bedrooms. _School was going to be **something** tomorrow._


	4. Steam

.

"We were always vowels,  
weren't we?  
Never alone together  
but almost always  
side  
by  
side."

Kelsey Danielle

"Mr. Danvers. If you could refrain from ogling Mr. Parry, and could look at the board, instead. We'd all appreciate that."

 _'You two are pissing me off.'_

Caleb rose an eyebrow, quietly, as he glanced down. Pretending not to feel his face heating up all the way to his ears. His fingers curled tightly around his pencil, and he could feel Pogue's embarrassment rolling off in the air, besides him. The professor seemed satisfied with his previous nod and short apology. So Caleb just tried to keep his attention focused on the board. Or pretend to.

Quite honestly, he didn't even know they were in History, until now.

He wasn't used to getting his attention called in class. And it was an uneasy feeling, though he let it pour away. Ignoring his hurt pride.

 _'Told Ty I'd keep out of it. But you two are like two blushing brides and it's getting on my nerves.'_

 _'Shut up. Reid.'_

 _'Oh, so he does talk.'_

Caleb's teeth gritted.

Part of his promise to fix things with Pogue, was that he'd tried not to avoid him during classes. Or lunch. Or practice. That meant sitting by his side, on his usual seat. And having Reid and Tyler watch them from across the classroom, like they were just waiting for something to pop. Tyler at least had the decency to look away when he was caught. Reid would just wiggle eyebrows at him and offer a snide comment through their mental bond. Comments Caleb had refused to answer, until just now.

He squeezed his nape. Trying to blow some of the embarrassment off, and just kept on taking notes. He heard Pogue huff on his side, and glanced at him, quickly. Before following his gaze towards a rolling eyes Reid. Whatever Pogue'd told him, it seemed to finally shut the boy up, so Caleb allowed himself to relax a little. With the way Sarah'd ambushed him with Kate-talk earlier, and everything else on his mind, it'd been a tense morning, to say the least.

It felt familiar. Pogue sticking with him, against Reid's antics. Not that Pogue followed him around like a mindless minion. Nor that Caleb saw Reid as someone that was _against_ him. He never did. But Pogue did try to keep the peace within their group. And the biggest part of that job was definitely keeping both him and Reid at bay, with each other. Still. It wasn't like he could blame the blonde. Lunch had been awkward enough, and Reid had kept silent then. All through their quiet munching, and side glances and curt conversations. _And he was impressed by that._ But it hadn't gotten much better since. Not like he'd promised it would. And it seemed the blonde's patience was starting to run low. He just hoped that he could make himself act normal enough, that swim practice wasn't as miserable as it'd been the last few weeks.

 _'I'm sorry.'_

 _'It's fine, man.'_

Caleb pursed his lips lightly in an attempted smile, at Pogue's agreement, and felt his light pat on his forearm.

He breathed in, like he was breathing for the first time in the day. He'd been a growing ball of anxiety since he'd gotten that text the other night. Wondering if there was anything else implied on that small phrase, than what it literally meant. He'd already decided what he was going to say. _And he would stick with it._ And it seemed that Pogue had come to some sort of decision as well, from what he knew of his friend. _And that was the scary part._

 _'t's gonna be fine, Cay.'_

 _'Thanks, baby boy.'_

 _'Ugh. You know I hate it when you call me that.'_

 _'I do.',_

 _'What's so funny?'_

Caleb turned to Pogue, then shook his head, and his lips curled in a sincere way, now.

"Nothing."

Maybe it'd be fine after all.

* * *

They were the first thing Caleb spotted as he made his way into the pools. _Alone._

Pogue was chuckling. But he could clearly see the angry line on his jaw, shoulders, and entire posture. Even as he kept on stretching and warming up. Pretending to ignore whatever the other boy was saying to him. _Abbot._ Hell. Caleb wasn't one for hating people. He rarely gave anyone that much credit or importance on his mind or life. He'd rather occupy it with people he did care about. But Abbot tried really _hard_.

His body was already moving, even before his brain'd caught up. Making him pick up his pace and stroll into their direction. From the corner of his eyes, he could see when Tyler patted Reid's arm to get his attention, as they both moved to do the same.

"... On, Parry! Are you _scared?_ Scared that because of your little vacation, I'm gonna wipe the pool with your ass today? It's your first time back in the pool, man. I don't know about you. But I'd be thinking about _all those injuries,_ and pulling something. Broke three ribs, was that it?" Caleb tensed as Abbot hissed in mockery. He could feel Pogue's Power wind up tight. The air completely still around them. Charged and thick. It prickled his skin when he moved, despite the smile on his best friend's face. "Seems to me like you should be running home to mommy, so she can take care of all those-"

"Or maybe you should be running home, Aaron. Before Pogue runs you to it. Right off the pool." _  
_

"Look at that! Your little girlfriend got here! Guess this means you two kissed and made up? You gonna massage his bruised ego when I'm done with him, Caleb?"

Caleb chuckled. But his smile was feral, and cold. He could feel his chest tight. As if Pogue's Power was coiling inside it. Bracing his body for the fight. His skin prickled again. His own Power demanding his attention. Demanding to be put to use. A dangerous humor flickering around him, filling his throat. He tensed, as he tried to keep it at bay. To remember where he was. And why he couldn't.

"Shut it, Aaron. You can't even win over me, at a pool table. Pretty sure, you can't get half an inch over Pogue in the water."

" _You little-"_

Caleb stepped in between Reid and Aaron, automatically.

Arm reaching protectively over the blonde, as he stared the other boy down. Interrupting his comeback, with his own, sarcastic and curt comment.

"You do realize that the only way you can brag, is when the best teammate is on recovery, don't you?"

It wasn't delivered as graciously as he usually made it. His anger getting in the way of his snark. But it seemed to get Abbot to bite his tongue, and Caleb got a deep satisfaction over that. The other boy snorted, avoiding Caleb's stare as he spat in answer.

"Whatever. We all know he'll be trashing after the first lap."

" _Caleb. Hey!"_

Aaron stumbled back, as Caleb launched himself towards him.

An arm wrapped around the dark haired boy's chest tightly, And he shove against it. Reeking with anger.

Reid struggled to hold him down as Caleb pushed, and shove against his hold. He sent him a mental groan and yanked him back again, as he almost slipped his strength. He didn't look, focused on his task, but he could tell of the worry of the others surrounding them. _'Stay back.'_ He didn't _have_ to look to know that Tyler would try to help. He immediately regretted telling him to stay away, when Caleb's skin suddenly turned scorching against his own. Making him bite down a yelp. He could feel the other's body thrumming like one bolt of energy against him. And as he groaned in frustration.

 _'The hell, Caleb?!'_

His friend's blood rushed on his chest.

It only lasted a few seconds, but is strained his muscles. _Was that what ascending did to you? Did it make you that much stronger?_ Aaron walked away, looking scared as shit. _And who could blame him?_ Reid knew that face Caleb could make very well. It scared the shit out of him too. _Only he wasn't a pansy to let it show._ Reid was sure the others were asking him questions too. But Caleb didn't seem to listen, even as he calmed down. As though he was somewhere else. His gaze still on the retreating form of the other. Like he could torch the guy with only his eyes if he really wanted to. And the blonde hesitated to take his arms away.

 _Could he?_

Caleb's mind filled with Aaron's words.

The demeaning tone he'd used as he'd talked about Pogue's injuries. Pogue's face in the hospital. His terrified gasp. The way he'd had to scramble through his pain for every word. Every word intended to keep Caleb safe. With a breathe he was lacking. To think of someone, _anyone,_ that thought something like that was _funny._ Or could ever be used to get to Pogue,

His eyes darkened with images. Of what he would have seen, if he'd already been ascended then. How broke and bent out of shape, Pogue's Power would look, agonizing around him. More than just sense it on his fingertips. More than just assume it on the tightening of his own lungs, at the sight. If he could taste it on his tongue. Watch it warp around his own Power. Reaching for some kind of solace. Any solace.

 _' Caleb.'_

 _'Caleb. You're **steaming**.' _

Caleb yanked from Tyler's touch like it was ice cold.

Tyler frowned at him as he watched him blink several times like he was just falling into reality.

He was panting. And every heavy breath came out in a small puff of steam. The same light steam that was quietly rolling off his body. Tyler had never seem something like that. He glanced at the others, worriedly, but Pogue was focused on the other two, with a frown deeper than his own and a bitter line on his lips. Reid seemed to carefully test pulling his arms away as Caleb stopped producing steam around them. _What on Earth?_

"You okay?" He asked quietly, pressing eyebrows as Reid hissed and shook his arms. His whole torso was lightly pink. Like he'd just walked out of a hot shower. Tyler glanced away as the blonde caught him staring.

"You're such a bitch. Caleb. Could've burned me, you crazy ass. Honest. I think this one should stay for history, I mean-"

 _"What the hell were you thinking?"_

Caleb glanced up at Pogue in surprise, as the other cut in.

"He was being a prick." He shrugged it off. While offering Reid a slightly guilty glance. _'You're not hurt, are you?'_

 _'No, you idiot.'_

"He is _always_ a prick. _What?_ So now I lost to goddamn Chase, and I can't handle myself anymore? You gonna babysit me like you do Tyler?"

 _"Hey!"_

Caleb starred, dumbfounded, as Pogue fumed at him.

 _Why was he so angry?_ He did this shit all the time for them. _Only he didn't._

Tyler and Reid were the ones he was usually getting in a fight for.

Reid because the blonde had a tendency to get into fights he wouldn't get out alive of. _Not without using._ And Tyler... Well, he wasn't about to let the younger of their group go into a fight alone. But Pogue was right. He'd never been one for picking fights. He was hard to rile up. Unless it was about even then, he'd take it up with the person he was with, rather than the cause of his reactions. The only person Caleb had ever saw rile his friend up, without trying, was Kate. _Also the only person, he'd ever ran blindfolded into a fight he couldn't win, for._ He still felt bitter at that. Though he couldn't pinpoint why.

Usually Pogue was the smartest of them on that aspect.

Caleb, himself, was much easier to get his blood boiling. But he was also usually much better at simmering it back down, and keeping it under control. Than the display he'd just presented. _He knew all three of them had been annoyed with him lately._

He'd been trice as protective, lately. It was just so much harder not to get involved, now. He'd never gotten around telling them. But after the ascension, he could feel them so clearly. He could feel and almost see their Power, and the way it bent, and shaped, and reacted, to their personalities and states of mind. It made him wonder if it was that easy for Chase to see through them. If that was why they'd been so easy to manipulate, right into his little game. His shoulders squared as he pushed the thought away.

"You seriously thought I was letting him ramble on, because what? I needed _help?"_

" _No_."

" _What then?"_ the other demanded. "I don't _need_ you to fix all my problems, Caleb." _  
_

Caleb opened his mouth to answer _._ When they heard the coach's whistle, and then Pogue was shaking his head and turning around to take his place. Breaststroke was up first. His jaw clicked shut again, and he pressed his thick lips as he watched.

He didn't realize he was holding his breath, until Pogue hit the water, and just kept on swimming. He watched for a few seconds, ignoring the looks from the others, he could feel on his skin. Then sighed, and moved to take his place, and cheer the other on, like he hadn't in so long.

Pogue made it first, without a hint of strain. By the time he got out of the pool, Caleb was there to give him a pull, but all his worry and concern was gone. Pogue took one glance at him, then grinned. And Caleb grinned back.

"Still think I need help?"

"Never did." he shook his head.

"You better not lose now, Danvers."

Caleb's grin curled into a smirk, as he already pulled his cap and goggles on.

"Wouldn't dare to."

Just before he hit the water, he could hear Pogue yelling to spur him own, and he knew everything would really be fine.


	5. Talk

.

your eyes remind me  
of your father's so tell me,  
is that what haunts you?

Kelsey Danielle

"Did you get any shit from the coach?"

Caleb glanced at Pogue, before tossing him a bottle of water he'd gone get from the kitchen.

He wasn't thirsty, really. But it'd been easier to make a quick escape, than to just face the other right on.

Pogue had literally followed him from school. It wasn't like they never did that. They did. A lot. But despite the lighter mood in which they'd ended their day, it was still the hardest he'd ever gripped at the wheels, all the way home. Almost like he was running into that truck all over again. He kept glancing at the yellow Ducati from his rear view mirror, and wondering what its driver would think, of what he had to say. He'd even tried to stall. Make sure that Reid was fine, after practice, before getting to the car. But Pogue had waited with him, while he checked on the other with Power, despite the protests.

A bird sang somewhere. And upstairs, Caleb could almost hear the soft breathing of his mother.

It was very quiet that day. In a calm, light aired way. And Caleb thought it was ironic, considering how tense he'd been. So much so, he hadn't noticed it until now. Still he wasn't sure if the silence and tranquility were good things. Not after all these years of learning otherwise.

He'd had so many hopes that things would change for her.

After his father's funeral, _the real one,_ he thought she'd reach some closure. Now he wasn't so confident. He shook his head, at the other's question, after taking a sip of his own water, putting the bottle aside, and taking a seat. He noticed Pogue didn't sit, resting against the side of the opposite couch, instead. But tried to not let that make him too nervous.

"Not much. He just reminded me that if I got into trouble I wouldn't get to compete. And that'd be a shame." he shrugged. _He also asked if there was anything wrong going on._ He pressed eyebrows as he took a breath to talk. Really they were there to do after all. _What they should have done weeks ago._

"Look. Whatever you have to- _"The night at Tyler's. I remember it."_ \- say."

Pogue stopped on his tracks.

He stared at Caleb and he could see it in his eyes. The truth, finally. He breathed out, half in surprise. Caleb had been lying to him for so long now. He'd half expected him to lie his ass out again. After he'd taken that day to think. After their talk. He'd made a decision. He'd decided to tell Caleb that he just _didn't care._ He didn't care if Caleb remembered or not. _Which he knew he did._ He didn't care _why_ he'd done it. He didn't care if Caleb needed to keep denying it. He didn't need Caleb to explain it to him. _Some things were just better unsaid._ He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. He just wanted Caleb back. He just wanted his friend to stop being so damn embarrassed and awkward around him, all the time. It'd been a kiss. _'Wasn't exactly that horrifying,_ for Caleb to keep punishing himself like that.

He knew his friend. He knew how he liked to take the blame for every damn thing under the sun. And it was stressful just to watch. Much more being the cause of it. He didn't _need_ Caleb to play martyr for him. _He never did. And he wished he could drill that into that thick head o'his._

"I remember it." Caleb cut in. More confident now. He'd almost felt everything crack around them when he spoke first. Like the swaying of piled up thoughts, so carefully put together. The way Pogue was staring at him, as if he was trying to make sure his eyes, _or ears?,_ weren't fooling him. Somehow, instead of making him more nervous, it made him stronger. He needed Pogue to hear it. So he could start fixing the mess he'd made. "What I said. The kiss." He panted for a moment, feeling his brain fuzzy as he said that out loud for the first time. But swallowed the feeling down. "Everything. But it won't change anything. I don't want it to change anything. I don't even know _why_ I did it." He pressed fingers into his hair, more exasperated than nervous. "I just. I'm sorry. For kissing you like that. I was drunk and stupid. It was stupid getting that plastered in the first place."

Pogue sighed out. Caleb had stolen his words right out of his mouth. _Just like he always did._ And the long haired boy smiled lightly as he let himself fall sat, after all, with a dramatic puff. Grabbing his bottle again to drink some more.

"Yeah. Look. All I wanted to say that I don't care either. Honest." He said, with a shrug. Caleb glanced up at him, eyes focused so intensely, it made Pogue snort. Somewhat bitterly. "I knew you remembered it, the next morning, man. 'Was all over your face." _and your damn walk of shame,_ "Why did you think I was so pissed, you kept that bullshit on? Just didn't know how to say that I don't really care, I guess." He shrugged again. "But thing is, I thought about it. You kissed me. You were drunk out of your ass. Doesn't really matter. I get it. Okay? What happened with Chase-" Caleb shook his head, but Pogue was going to say it, "-It was fucked up. It fucked me up. And I'm pretty sure it fucked you up more." He waved his hand at the other's attempt to say anything. "You thought I was dying or something. Even though, I'm pretty pissed you thought I was such a pansy. But whatever. You earned your fair share of stupid things to do." _  
_

Caleb nodded. Smiling lightly down, though he didn't know what was that bitter-sweetness that came with it. This was what he wanted. _Wasn't it?_ It was definitely more than he could ask for. That Pogue didn't think he was weird. And wasn't telling him to stay away. He just wanted to move past it. They both did.

"Just. Stop torturing yourself, man." Pogue's eyes softened as his tone got more serious. "I mean it. It's driving us crazy. Not just you. So just cut it out." He pressed his lips. Caleb sighed.

"Yeah. I'll. Do my best." he agreed, with a nod. He looked at Pogue and pressed his thick lips. Not sure how to ask what he wanted to know. _'Why were you so pissed today?'_

Pogue put the bottle down and pressed eyebrows lightly.

"The Abbot stuff?" Caleb nodded. Pogue glanced down, with a huff. "I get it. You know. Why do you do it." Their eyes met, and something on the seriousness in Pogue's eyes made Caleb swallow dryly down. "I get that you feel like you have to make up for all your father's shit." _all your mother's shit too._ "I just wished you got into your head that _you don't need to._ " Caleb's eyebrows furrowed, pained but Pogue just went on. "I mean it, man. That shit with Chase. Caleb, you got out alive for a damn miracle. You weren't supposed to. And you knew that."

Caleb flinched.

"I had hope."

"Don't even. You can't pull that with me. I know you. You saw how fucked up I was. You knew you couldn't beat him. But instead of _staying away_ like I told you to. You went right into his game."

" _What else was I supposed to do?"_ Caleb chimed in, voice splintered. Sorrow-filled eyes, covered up with anger. _"You were gone. Alright?_ " _You were **gone**. _ "Tyler and Reid" _and Sarah_ "looked at me. And I knew they were expecting me to do _something._ _Anything._ _And I did."_ He was panting. And he barely realized he'd gotten to his feet. _"_ I did what I had to do, to keep them safe." _All of you_ _._ He struggled with exasperation, as he turned his back on Pogue. Running hands through his hair in a tight grasp. There were so many more words he wanted to say. So many of them choked in his throat. And if he kept looking at the other, he just might say them all. He couldn't do that. _I did my best._

Pogue just stared at his nape, waiting a few seconds for him to calm down before asking, serious.

"Caleb, man. Did you really think he was gonna stop, after you?"

 _No._

Caleb strained. He had hoped no one would ever ask him that. But he should've known that Pogue would. When he had told him everything, _told them everything,_ Pogue had been quiet. So quiet. Caleb could see with his new eyes, how everything was storming around him, but he hadn't said a word. Part of him always knew they'd end up here eventually. He knew the others had thought it too. At least, Tyler. _Always so smart._ But he should've known that Pogue would be the one to speak out.

"I didn't know what else to do." He admitted, in a breath.

Pogue swallowed at how raw his voice sounded. So pained. He hated to get Caleb to admit this. Caleb was so proud. He hated to make him admit all this. But he knew he had to get it out somehow. He hesitated, not knowing if he should get closer. Caleb turned back to him, before he could get up.

"I did have hope." He insisted, heavily. _And he sounded so tired._ "Because it was the last damn thing I had. I hoped I could stop him. And I couldn't put anyone else in risk to do it. I just had- I just had to try. I thought." He swallowed, painfully. "I thought I at least could fuck him up enough to give you guys time..."

 _'To run.'_

Caleb nodded, rigidly at Pogue's mental words.

He didn't realize how tightly he was balling his fists up, until Pogue got up and crashed their bodies in a hug.

Caleb didn't resist it. He let air out, worn down, and buried his face onto Pogue's shoulder. Pogue held him tight, an arm around his torso, another over his shoulder, crossing on his back. Just like he did since they were kids. A hand secured on the back of his head. His own arms moved slowly, before resting around his friend's frame, as he felt like his whole body'd been scrubbed raw.

He thought he'd never have to admit it. That he did know he'd die. That he knew he couldn't stop Chase. But that he'd just hoped he'd go in an explosion massive enough to hold Chase back. To weaken him down. To give his friends time to run. He'd even prepared a spell. Should he die, they would get a last message from him. Reid, Ty, his mother. Telling them to run. Telling them everything. Telling them to take Pogue. To save him. _To please save him. To please save themselves. To stay alive._

He squeezed his eyes shut, as Pogue didn't pull away, and just breathed in. Pogue's scent of eucalyptus and pine, brushed by the wind, filling him up without notice. He'd been so fucking terrified, though he'd never bent down to it. He'd never given in, not for a second. Thoughts focused on the image of Pogue's face whenever he wavered. Forcing himself to imagine Reid or Ty like that. Because being sick to his stomach was better than being scared.

It gave him strength. Rather than make him want to curl up and hide. Because he could never do that. He could never live with himself if he did that. Because Pogue wasn't there to help him figure out what to do. To plan with him. But he still had to give everything he could to protect them. Even without a plan. Even if it meant to give himself over entirely.

When Pogue did pull back, it was just so he could look at him. Both hands holding his broad shoulders tight. Almost painfully so. But it felt good. _Real._ He felt grounded.

Part of him wanted to scream. _What were you thinking?_ The same words from earlier echoing inside his head. He had _begged_ Caleb to stay away from Chase. He had told him they couldn't take him. But he knew Caleb. He knew he couldn't have expected anything else from him. Just like no one could have expected him to stay calm when Chase had put a spell on Kate. He wasn't going to yell at him. Caleb looked broken and weary, and Pogue just needed one thing.

"Don't _ever_ do this again. Get it?" He said, fiercely. "I don't care if fucking Darth Vader comes after us. _Hey._ " he pulled his attention back, when Caleb let out a bitter snort, and looked away. He squeezed his shoulders tighter, so the other would look at him again. "I mean it. Next time. We're gonna make a freaking plan. And we're gonna do it, _together._ Alright?" He swallowed. His own promise that he wouldn't rush into another trap, no matter who they hurt, hanging in the air.

Caleb was quiet for a moment. But then nodded slowly.

 _'I promise.'_

Pogue jerked their bodies into another hug, hitting his back in comforting, and squeezing him in before letting go.

Caleb felt a little light headed. Just as all the pressure was gone, and he wasn't sure what to do without it. It wasn't really. But it did make a hell of a difference to talk about this. _To have Pogue back._

"By the way. You're a slop of a kisser."

He blinked.

 _"I was drunk!"_

"Drunk? You were all over the place!"

Pogue snorted, and Caleb chuckled. Shaking his head, and trying not to laugh as Pogue bumped their shoulders, passing him towards the living room.

"Really hope you have better game with Sarah, man."

"You know, I really don't know why I'm still friends with you."

"Oh. Wanna go back to fighting, is that it?"

o:o:o

Only after their second movie, Caleb decided to ask.

"You thought what you gonna do, about Kate?"

Pogue twisted lips, shaking his head as he shove a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Haven't. To be honest, I don't know what I wanna do." _They had time, didn't they? Wasn't like he was proposing to her tomorrow or anything. Wasn't like they were dying again._ "I need time. This is all just. I'm ascending soon. I don't know. I wanted to wait at least that much."

Caleb nodded, and Pogue offered him a wry smile.

"I know Sarah's been pressuring you up on that. Sorry, man."

"Sarah." Caleb sighed, as he brushed his face, shrugging. "Sarah'll have to understand. This might be hard for her, but it's not her decision. I'll just tell her to wait till your birthday, for now."

"Thanks, Cay."

He smiled, lightly. The fondness of the nickname being used so strain-free, after such a good while, making his armed up posture loose.

"You're welcome." He shrugged. "Just because I decided to tell, it doesn't mean you all have to do the same. I did what I had to do. If all that hadn't happened, maybe I wouldn't have. Not that soon, anyway."

"Why did you?" Caleb glanced up at him, and Pogue licked his lips as he tried to explain. "I mean. I get it. But. What. What made you decide to do it?" If he knew. _Could it help him decide whether or not to tell Kate? Did he even want to know?_

"I guess I just. Felt like I owed it to her. You know?" He shook his head, his glance at Pogue showed him how focused the other seemed on his answer. So he decided to elaborate. "Kate was dying. You were..." He pressed lips. "Chase had threatened her." He shook his head. "At the end she already knew. I just confirmed it. Explained it. I guess I just thought, what the hell. I was meeting Chase that night. Not sure if I'd be back." He shrugged. "I thought she had the right to know who, or _what,_ was threatening her life. Felt like the least I could do. And I trusted her."

"Yeah." Pogue pressed lips as he stared at the screen, blankly. _Did Kate too? Did she have the right to know what had threatened **her** life? _

"Cay."

"Mmh."

"How was it?"

Caleb frowned.

"Telling her?"

Pogue shook his head lightly, and Caleb almost immediately knew what he'd meant to say.

"You know. Ascending and all."

"Crazy."

Pogue looked at him, but Caleb seemed to be somewhere else. Re-living something.

"It was just... One moment all I was thinking of, was trying to stay alive. Just a little longer. I knew Chase- He was _too_ strong. He didn't want to kill me yet. But he was so out of control. And then it just..." he faltered, looking for words to say. "It hurt." He confessed. "Ridiculously so. But it was like I wasn't all there, you know? I could feel it, but it was also like watching it happen. Just. It was like that bolt we got at thirteen. Times thousands. Everywhere. Not just in the head, stomach, chest. Just everywhere." _and then for a moment, he didn't exist. He was Power, and the Power was him. And he felt like he could glimpse every other life the Power had ever lived. In which it had ever been._

"So good, and bad."

Caleb refocused at Pogue's quiet statement, and nodded.

"Yeah. Felt like if someone poked me, I'd fall apart. But also, that I could move a finger and bend time or something. Then it was over. And I just knew I could take Chase then. 't least I knew I had a chance. I knew he wouldn't kill me that easy." _I could see everything._ But he wasn't ready to tell Pogue that, just yet.

"Is it different? Resisting?"

Caleb glanced at him, and his lips curled wearily.

"Yeah." He answered smoothly, though his tone was grave. "It's not like an itch. Like before. You can just literally feel it _wanting_ to be used." _That was it, wasn't it?_ "It's not even you resisting the urge to use. It's more like giving in." - "Hey. You know you won't be alone. Right? I'll be here. We'll be here. We'll help each other." He said, ante Pogue's quietness. The other looked at him, then relaxed a little, before nodding.

"Yeah." He agreed, before nodding to the tv. "So. We gonna watch your chick flick or what?"

" _It's not-_ Whatever, man." Caleb shook his head, but Pogue just snorted and passed him the popcorn, which he took. Trying to convince a warlock that supernatural movies were not chick-flicks, _even if they knew they were real (somewhat),_ was a waste of time.

o:o:o

The credits were almost over when Caleb realized he'd fallen asleep. A quick look let him know that Pogue was far gone as well. He turned the tv off and cleaned everything up, filling the washer, before he tapped Pogue's arm and convinced him to go up to the guest room. _Pogue's room, in a way._

His mind was still filled with their talk from earlier.

After getting to his own bed, his eyes stayed on the ceiling, refusing to shut down.

 _I_ _get that you feel like you have to make up for all your father's shit. I just wished you got into your head that _you don't need to.__

Didn't he, though? His father had ruined the circle of their parents. His addiction had drove that generation of the coven down. Pogue's father, unable to watch William run dry, had even left. The Garwins had divorced. And although the Simms had kept their family whole, they had also isolated themselves from the rest of the coven. It was why everything had gone so out of sync. Like their births. Tyler being the last one, almost two years too late, because of the Power isolation, that his father had created. Only after they were born the bonds restarted to heal. Even if the parents had wanted to be stubborn, the Power was too strong. It called the kids to one another. Making them sick and vulnerable if they were kept apart for months. And they would have never found that out the hard way. If his father hadn't gone rogue like he did.

 _I'm not like my father._ He kept telling his mother that. And her answer was always the same. _That's what your father used to say._ Was that his destiny? The Danvers' destiny? Growing up, finding the Book of Damnation, reading it, had been such a relief. It'd proved to him that the Danvers had been leaders. Heads of the coven. The reason the Covenant stayed alive through Witch Hunt. It had given him purpose. To reestablish his family to its rightful place. The Danvers had taken charge when the Putnams were stricken out of the coven. And Caleb had kept them safe, by eliminating the Putnam threat, yet again. So why didn't he feel like it was enough? He'd thought that after that night, he'd finally feel like he'd proven himself enough. But something inside him. Detached from his conscious thoughts. Something deeper, something rooted and carved into his own nature, kept telling him this wasn't right. That the coven wasn't entirely safe. That this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He sighed as he sat up and brushed the headache in his temples. He tried to focus on the good. Pogue was back. He could _feel_ his presence next door. He remembered when they were younger, having entire mental conversations with him even through the walls. It was how they got so good at it. Training. Forcing their Power to expand and recognize each other. Now he could feel it effortlessly. Specially after the ascension. If he closed his eyes and focused hard enough, he could even feel a little of what Pogue was feeling. Like his mind was pouring an inch into his friend's one. He could tell that he was sleeping now. While he, himself, was kept wide awake.

 _All I wanted to say that I don't care either. Honest._

He didn't care. After all that self inflicted anxiety, Pogue was cool with it. Caleb couldn't fit it in his head. It felt amazing. But he couldn't understand why his friend would give him that concession. Caleb had kissed him. And not even in a chaste way either. He remembered it. Remembered enough to know that Pogue had tasted like beer and honey at the same time. Remembered enough to recall the feeling of clasping his fingers around Pogue's hair and tugging it down. To recall the vibration of his own lips against Pogue's answering groan. And also enough to remember that if he'd been just a little more sober, Pogue would have kissed him again. It was the last thing he remembered. Pogue leaning in, after staring at him for what it felt like hours. And then stopping. And everything went black. He frowned. _He should be happy about this._ Not... Frustrated.

He tried to think about Sarah. But all he could think about was how mad she'd be that they still couldn't tell Kate.

He groaned at himself and shook his head, dropping out of bed, to his feet. He needed some water, and possibly to hit his head on something, so he could sleep tonight. _Maybe some pain killers too._ He added as he brushed his forehead. _Where had that headache come from?_ He hadn't been that achy when he was cleaning up their mess at the living room. He scratched his nape and blinked heavily as he tried not to make noise, walking down the hall.

A scream filled the house from the roots to the roof.

Pogue stirred in his sleep. Feeling it like a cold stream up his blood, even before he heard it. But his heart still almost fell off his mouth when it came.

It took him only a second to realize he'd woken up, and that the scream hadn't been in his dreams.

 _'Where are you?'_

"What the-" Pogue stopped running at the stop of the stairs.

"Fuck!"

He hurried down as Caleb cursed at the bottom of the steps. His fingers quick to reach and check as soon as he got there, making sure he was in one piece. Eyes immediately averting to search for a threat afterwards.

" _Was that you?"_

"No. I heard it too." Caleb was panting as he shook his head. Trying to keep the movement slow. He had a split lip, his head was ringing, and he could tell his body was bruising, but otherwise he was fine. Despite his heart still beating on his ears. "It scared the hell out of me."

"And you fell off the stairs?!" Pogue asked, frowning. He was still holding both Caleb's biceps, without taking notice, eyes still alert and searching.

"No. I saw something. _Then_ I fell."

Pogue tensed.

"What was it?"

He could count their both heartbeats, as Caleb's arms tensed under his finger's grasp.

"Chase. I saw Chase, Pogue."

o:o:o

Eventually, Caleb convinced Pogue that he didn't need a hospital that night.

Pogue helped him up to his bed, and insisted on staying the night in the same room at least. Caleb convinced him to take the bed, instead of the divan and that was where he was now, sprawled and sleeping by his side. Caleb glanced at him. Pogue had only slept after Caleb'd pretended to, himself. He shook a little as he remembered what he'd seen. He saw Chase, but it was a shadow of him. A pale, sick, shadow of him. Almost like the darkling, but not. At the moment, it had scared him so bad, he stumbled back, and that was when he fell off the stairs. He squeezed his eyes closed, and cursed in his mind. He was about to shift, when, instead, he felt Pogue reaching for him. He glanced at him again, but his friend hadn't even opened his eyes, as he wrapped his arm around his torso. Head lying by his own, on the pillow. Caleb sighed and turned his head into Pogue's forehead, closing eyes again. And this time, he fell asleep, shortly after.


End file.
